Question Mark????

I have realized that questions are the most common types of sentences to be uttered by mankind. Almost every conversation starts with “How are you today?” or “What’s up?” I have also realized that there are only a few questions that are asked of me on a daily basis. I realize that by answering them on my blog will do little good since those who tend to ask these questions won’t be reading this anytime in the near future… whatev.
Here are the questions most commonly asked of me with the answers included- not listed in any particular order:

Q1: You’re from Roswell? (3-8 second pause) Have you seen any aliens?
A1: No.

Q2: Did you know that your name was invented in the play ‘Peter Pan’
A1: Yes. (Did you really think I would go twenty years of my life without knowing that?)

Q3: If I make ___________(fill in the blank), will you help me eat it?
A3: The answer is always yes.

Q4: Do you want to give me a back massage?
A4: Never do I ever have the desire to give a back massage. If you are my mom or someone who recently did something really great and deserving of a back massage, then I will do it anyways.

Q5: You are going to teach Asians English? How will you do that if you don’t know Chinese?
A5: Oh, ummm.... I will be teaching ENGLISH not Chinese.

Q6: You are so dark! Do you go tanning?
A6: I pinky promise all people in the universe that never have I ever been fakey-baking and nor will I ever.

Another thought concerning questions that has recently been plaguing my brain is the fact that I have so many questions that will never be answered in my earthly life. For instance, one time I purchased a strawberry shake from Wendy’s with a cherry on top. I love maraschino cherries, so I obviously made plans to save the cherry for last. However, upon completing my strawberry shake, the cherry was gone!! Where did it go?! This is one question I will never know the answer to. Another time, I bought a box of Lucky Charms. I ate one bowl of this delicious cereal then put the box on the shelf. About a week later, I had a hanker in for some more Lucky Charms, but to my surprise and dismay, the box was missing! We immediately had roommate family counsel, but no one knew where the almost full box had run off to. This is yet another unsolved mystery. A few more unanswered questions: Why does my roommate, Julianne, only wear yoga pants? (she literally wears them every where-to the gym, class, single’s ward dances, dates, shopping, nights out on the town, etc) Why did Basha’s get rid of their mustache machine? (I cried an infinity of tears over this fact.) Why does my apartment smell like a swamp non -stop? Why does this boy in my ward think that my name is Demi?

Why is this woman doing what she's doing?

I guess the answers will never be known and I will have to be content in my unknowing state…